The Most Desirable Traits for a Person To Have
No one is free of flaws and quirks, and there are many different qualities that can be good in some people and bad in others. However, there are some personality traits that are almost universally positive, so long as they are not taken to an extreme. These are the signs of character that are important to look for in other people, and possessing them yourself can help you attract the right people and circumstances into your life.
1. Integrity
The definition of integrity comes from the Latin word integritas, meaning “whole” or “intact.” It encompasses many of the best human qualities that make a truly good person, such as honesty, morality, and incorruptibility.
A person with integrity won’t lie to or betray you, and they are people of their word, so if they make a promise, you know they’ll follow through. They won’t go behind your back, badmouth you, or cheat on you. Their code of ethics may make them a bit predictable, but they are good for the heart — and for one’s sense of mental stability.
2. Courage
Let’s face it: very few people want to be with a coward. In this context, a “coward” isn’t someone who is scared of the dark or gets jumpy during horror movies. Rather, this refers to a person who will forsake their own ideals because defending them is too inconvenient. Someone who can’t or won’t stand up for their own beliefs won’t stand up for you. This type of courage may not seem like a big deal to some people, but the people who lack it are far more likely to become silent bystanders who look the other way when things go wrong.
3. Sense of Humor
Life has its ups and downs. There will always be good times and bad times — hard times and easy times. Everything is easier when people can keep a sense of humor and surround themselves with companions who share that quality. There is a reason that countless polls show that most people desire a sense of humor in their partners. It shows wit, and someone who makes you laugh most of the time can introduce a lot of joy into your life, even during your darkest hours.
4. Common Sense
There are many people in life who possess high IQs but absolutely no common sense. Arguably, traits such as common sense, social intelligence, and “street smarts” all overlap heavily, making them absolutely invaluable. Being able to solve the most difficult mathematical problems is a wonderful skill to have, but it doesn’t necessarily make someone a great partner or friend, especially if they can’t hold a conversation, relate to others, or interact with people. These skills require the use of common sense, as this helps people discern what they should do and say (and what they shouldn’t) in everyday settings.
5. Emotional Availability
It can be difficult to be around people who are so closed off that they can’t show any emotion. Even worse is interacting with people who only express emotion when they’re lashing out in anger. There’s a unique hurt that comes from someone only looking at you blankly or, worse, scolding you and putting you down when you’re feeling sad. Being able to share your heart doesn’t mean that you’re weak or whiny. In fact, when someone lacks emotional expression and maturity, it ultimately limits the depth of the human connections they can form.
6. Kindness
Kindness protects you from all kinds of heartache. As with integrity, a person who possesses kindness will usually keep your heart safe and your best interests in mind. Their willingness to help others also translates into a knowledge of how to put someone else’s needs ahead of their own when it’s necessary. A kind person carries a sort of light inside them, and that light tends to attract other “good” people, which makes it one of the best traits for people to cultivate in themselves.
7. Self-Confidence
Everyone gets low on confidence every now and then. However, people with no self-esteem can often interfere with their own success. They are usually driven by self-preservation and will do almost anything to overcome their feelings of inadequacy. This can make them distrusting and emotionally unavailable. This can, in turn, lead to acts of dishonesty, a lack of courage, and a refusal to accept even the positive things in life.
When someone hates themselves and refuses to seek treatment, trying to help them can be like trying to fill a bucket with a huge hole in the bottom. No matter how much love and care you pour into them, it will never be enough to make them feel valued. You don’t have to cut off people with no self-esteem, but it’s important to remember that you can’t fix their problems for them. However, most importantly, practice affirmations and strive to develop your own self-confidence. It will set you up for success in the long run, so long as you don’t allow yourself to become arrogant.
8. Discipline
There are different levels of discipline, and someone who is super controlling can be difficult to deal with. However, it’s also important to avoid becoming someone who has absolutely no discipline at all. Success requires discipline, and anyone who throws in the towel at the first sign of difficulty or opposition will not make a great long-term partner, in love or business. Even more, discipline also translates into stamina or staying power. A person who can’t stick with anything at all is usually unconfident or lazy. Either way, it’s not going to be a winning situation. If someone can’t stick with their own goals, they won’t stick with you either.
9. Generosity
One of the worst types of people to be around in life is the miser — a person who constantly complains about the money they don’t have, especially while spending it on things that don’t serve them. This is not only annoying, but it speaks to a level of cruelty as well. The opposite of “generous” is “selfish,” and very few people want to be with someone selfish in the long run.
This doesn’t mean that someone can’t watch out for their own interests, nor do they have to be saint-like levels of generous. However, be careful of those who are in it only for themselves and no one else. These individuals may be very preoccupied with material or superficial things, and they can miss out on the stuff that really matters.
10. Self-Awareness
Many people believe themselves to be things they’re not. They aren’t really self-aware, and they don’t ever check to see if their idea of who they are aligns with what others see. As already mentioned, everybody has flaws, and no one has a perfect combination of all the traits listed above. Self-awareness is thus one of the most valuable qualities someone can have. It’s the middle ground, emphasizing truly knowing your strengths and weaknesses without succumbing to either self-loathing or arrogance.
Self-awareness allows people to see where they need to change certain behaviors and patterns, and people without self-awareness may struggle to grow in any meaningful way, because they cannot see their past mistakes well enough to learn from them. Self-awareness also allows people to develop any of the other positive traits on this list — and it makes it easier to maintain those qualities over time. Remember, if you don’t know who you are, you won’t know what makes you happy either.
How These Positive Qualities Can Affect You
Developing these traits in yourself will make it easier to identify them in others, and to attract partners and friends who also possess these positive characteristics. While it’s true that people always connect with those who challenge them, push them to grow, and help them overcome personal issues, birds of a feather still flock together. The key to finding happiness is to work on becoming the best possible version of yourself. Everything else will follow naturally.
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